Off he goes...

I think this may be a very obvious statement, but this weekend was by far one of the hardest and most emotional few days I have ever experienced. I wrote in the first post how it seemed like there was nothing I could do to prepare myself for Aaron’s deployment, no matter how hard I tried. It’s kind of like taking your first test in a really hard class, with no study guide.  No matter how hard you study, you have no idea what to expect. The few days before we left for Crestview my nerves got the best of me. I was constantly sick to my stomach and my nights were sleepless. On Friday I wasn’t really sure how to feel. I was overly excited to see Aaron, but I knew what Saturday had in store for us. I thought maybe if I refused to pack then I couldn’t go, which meant he couldn’t leave, right? Or maybe we could just run away. It all sounded good to me…it sounded more like going to jail for him. So, once again the Army won. Aaron was released shortly after we arrived on Friday afternoon so we were able to spend the rest of the day together. He has always had this awesome way of making me laugh and smile even when I didn’t feel like it and this weekend was no exception. Friday night was also no exception to my sleepless nights, I think I racked up maybe three hours of sleep.

The day had finally come. The one day I had been dreading for the past year was here and there was nothing I could do to stop it. As I was lying in bed I started to think about the past two years of our relationship. It started off great, got pretty rocky and has been more than I could wish for the past several months. It took us both realizing what was up ahead. We decided that we didn’t have time to argue over the stupid stuff or focus on the negative. Instead we focused all of our attention on the love we had for each other and keeping our relationship centered on Christ. Of course we had our arguments over the major issues and at times I probably pouted more than I should have. If anyone ever tells me they have the perfect relationship with no arguments I tend to giggle…sounds like a boring relationship to me and they are probably in for a rude awakening when they get married. But hey, that isn’t my business. Anyway, I couldn’t even begin to think about not having my man around and being able to jump in my car and drive to Starke to see him. Honestly, I still haven’t let myself think too much about that, and I haven’t figured out if that is a good or bad thing. I finally forced myself out of the bed and got ready and headed off to the departing ceremony. The day was such an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I was crying then, the next, Aaron had me dying laughing. Every second I could be attached to him, I was. I decided not to pay attention to the time; I didn’t want to know the hours were counting down.  But, against my will, the time came.  It was time to say goodbye.  He said his goodbyes to his family and we walked to the door.  I didn’t really know how to feel. I have become so used to saying goodbye for weeks and a few months at a time, but this was different. I knew in my heart that it would be a year before I got to hug him again, but I didn’t want to accept it and I still don’t. I knew I had to let him go. I looked up at those big green eyes full of tears (don’t tell him I told), told him how much I loved him and simply asked for him to please come home. He promised, gave me one more kiss and then he was gone. I just stood there taking in all that was going on around me. I looked to my left were another girlfriend wouldn’t let go of her soldier as they both stood there crying. Beside them was a little girl screaming for her daddy. Little boys were being peeled off their daddy’s legs. Others were giving their final kisses. Mother’s were fighting back tears and staying strong as they had to hold back their children from running after their daddy. Parents and grandparents were holding on as long as they could. Grown men, the strongest men I have ever seen, were wiping tears from their eyes as they turned and walked away from their families. The next few minutes were a blur. We walked to the side of the road waving our flags as I watched his bus drive away. I just wanted to chase after him and beg him not to leave, but I know he is finally getting to do what he has always wanted to do and I would never ask him not to do something he is so passionate about. So I just ran to the Jeep, buried my head in my arms and cried like a little baby. I have had my moments, but I have tried to keep my thoughts positive and stay strong for Aaron, because I can't even imagine what he is going through right now!

Things Aaron said not to do while he was away:

1.       Do NOT cut your hair!

2.       Don’t die it weird colors or paint your nails black.

3.       Don’t get skin cancer from lying out too much.

I simply requested that he just come home! I guess I am trusted with everything except my hair and skin…haha!

I couldn’t have made it through this weekend without my wonderful mother.  She was right by my side every second.  She, Melissa and Mrs. Lisa even joined me in drowning my sorrows with ice cream!  It didn’t really help. I was overwhelmed by the love and support people have shown us through text and Facebook. You all will never know how much that means to me. Of course my father and family have done an amazing job keeping me happy. I have been able to facetime with Aaron the past few nights, but, we won’t know until next week if we can talk while he is training in the dessert before they go overseas. So, right now I just take it one day at a time. It’s one day closer to him being home. Until next time, keep God first, remember to always tell the ones around you that you love them, stop fighting about petty things, and don’t let the sun set on your troubles. 

Here goes nothin'

Well hi!! I have never been much of a blogger, but I am determined to stick with it this time. Well, at least for a year until my soldier gets home : ) Please don’t expect anything super interesting or humorous. My life it quite simple, some would probably think it’s beyond BORING…but I don’t mind it all!! My main purpose for starting this blog is to document the journey of the ups and downs of Aaron’s first deployment (I have a feeling there will probably be more downs). I had mentioned to him briefly in a conversation about possibly blogging while he was away and he loved the idea. It will be great for him to be able to get on and read how things are going on this side of the world when we aren’t able to talk.  Reality is that we won’t be able to skype everyday and sometimes even days at a time while he is on missions. A few people also suggested blogging so people could get an inside look at what it is like to be a military girlfriend. I am fully aware that what I am about to experience does not come close to what wives and mothers experience while their husbands are away. I am very thankful that I get to experience a deployment first before my children do, maybe it will be a little easier when that day comes, but I doubt it!! Enough of my rambling, I guess I should give a little background story of me and my soldier and answer the infamous question everyone wants to know…

Our Story

                It all started sometime in September of 2009. It seemed as if more people wanted Aaron and me to date then Aaron and April wanted to date. My girlfriends so sweetly reminded me daily that I need to “go after” the “Greek god” as they called him! But, I wasn’t much for chasing after boys, especially not at that point in my life. I don’t really know at what point things turned around for me, I guess it was that shaggy blonde hair, big green eyes and contagious smile : ) It had to be brought to my attention that he started coming around more and seemed to show up and my football and volleyball games. Of course, I just thought it was because he liked someone else. Being the shy folks we both seemed to be it took a while for things to start rolling, but with a little help from some wonderful friends our friendship started to grow stronger and stronger and at some point I started falling for the boy. On October 21^st he finally worked up the nerve to ask me out. I’m convinced there is no non-corny way for a boy to ask a girl to be his girlfriend, but it was cute and I couldn’t resist. Things were going great……until I got a call saying “hey, I joined the Army. I’m going to MEPS in two weeks!” WHAT? I knew from the beginning that the Army was a possibility; I just didn’t expect it to happen four months after we started dating. Right in the midst of one of the most important times of a growing relationship, he made one of the biggest commitments of his life, one that I had to decide to make with him or go on with my life. The next few months were the hardest of our relationship and by the time he left for boot camp we were hanging on by a thread. Boy, I am more thankful for boot camp a little more every day. One of the joys of the military and boot camp is letters! I wish people wrote letters more. Letters forced us to communicate, something we had become terrible at. I got to know Aaron in a completely different way in three months than I did in the 10 months we were together before he left. I think every couple, whether dating or married, should write and send letters to each other!! During that time God helped me realize that even though I had no idea what the future had in store for Aaron and me, I was ready to take this journey with him. I would be lying if I said it has been perfect since that point, but it has been a little easier. It’s hard having to share him with the Army, most of the time the Army wins!! But, one of the things that made me fall in love with him was his selflessness. No one forced him to sign up to serve in the Army, he knows full well what could happen to him, yet he still did it. That’s a man! Don’t get me wrong, not everyone is called to be in the military, and that makes them no less of a man or woman in my eyes. And not everyone is meant to be a military girlfriend or wife, trust me it isn’t the easiest thing I have ever done; to love a man who leaves for a months at a time! Our relationship is not perfect, we argue over the stupidest stuff and drive each other up the wall most of the time, but I would not trade Aaron for anyone in the world, even if it meant no more long distance relationship and no more Army. Through the loving grace of God and his perfect example of love, I have fallen completely in love with this boy!!

The Infamous Question

                Some people sweetly ask “When are you two love birds going to get married?” Others ask “Why don’t you have a ring on your finger?” like it is a bad thing we aren’t engaged or married yet. Yes, I know we have been together for over two and a half years and I do appreciate everyone’s opinions on when they think we should get engaged or married, but the only opinions that matter are ours :) I wish I could say this has always been my mindset and that I haven’t caused Aaron a little grief about the subject, but he has successful drawn me to be on the same page as him. Yes, we love each other. Yes, we talk about getting married and our future family. Yes, we plan on spending the rest of our lives with each other, Lord willing. No, neither will happen before he leaves. Sorry to disappoint you : ) There is so much more that goes into a marriage than just loving each other and being together for a long time. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with an amazing man that uses his head and will not marry me until he knows he can take care of me financially and emotionally. Girls, we are usually ready before they are, so give them time and be patient, they have a much bigger responsibility on their hands. to take care of us. than we realize.

                I have one simple request from all who would like to join us in our journey. PLEASE, please, please keep us in your prayers, Aaron more specifically. My biggest fear that I constantly have to surrender to the Lord is that I may never get to see his face again, feel his arms wrap around me or laugh at his stupid jokes…things I constantly take for granted. Pray for his safety and the safety of his unit. For peace of mind and solid, never faltering strength in his faith in Christ. For his family’s peace of mind.  And, for me. I’m scared, there seems to be nothingwe can do to prepare ourselves for this. But, I know we both have the most important and only thing that will get us through this…God!!