Wow, I can’t believe it has been almost 4 months since my last
post. I knew I wouldn't be good at this when I started. You can’t say I didn't warn you!! I am truly sorry for being such a slacker though. I try to keep
myself as busy as possible. By the time I get off work and take all my stress
out on the poor gym, there is just enough time left in the day to play with my
sweet puppy, eat dinner, and get ready for bed. On my days off and the weekends
I try to soak up as much time with family and friends as I can.
The first few
months of this deployment it was my goal to get the day over with as quick as
possible. On June 17th, when I watched Aaron’s bus drive away, my
mind went straight to his return. I just wanted the months in between to
disappear. Then, I realized how much I was missing in the moment. I’m
surrounded by the most amazing support system but I knew they could tell that,
although I was physical present, mentally I was in Afghanistan. I had to come
to grips with the fact that there was nothing I could do to bring Aaron home.
If I was going to marry Aaron, I had to learn how to deal with this lifestyle.
Well, I don’t know that anyone ever full learns how to handle it, you just do
the best you can. You just do it!! That’s always my answer when people ask how
I do it. I just do it, with an unending amount of faith in Christ, a few tears
and bad days, and an unconditional love for the soldier I’m waiting for. You don’t
have to be going through a deployment to apply this to your life. I think
everyone in any situation struggles with living in the moment. We focus so much
on what the future holds that we completely miss what God is trying to teach us
right now. Yes, my mind drifts to Aaron’s homecoming or to a very special day
in November, that’s perfectly normal. But, I no longer wish the days away. Instead
I do my best to embrace each day as another day to encourage someone, love
without bounds, and become a better version of me. I say it all the time; I do
not know how people get through something like deployment without faith in
Christ. I’m a mess most days anyways, I’d hate to see myself go through this
without Him. Just like with any trail we face in life, it is easy to draw near
to God and lean on Him during the hard times; it’s how close we stay to Him and
rely on Him after He gets us through the storm that reveals the true depth of
our faith. This deployment is slowly coming to an end; I constantly pray that I
never lose sight of who got me through this time.
Please continue to pray for Aaron and all the men and women
serving. He is always in good spirits (occasionally grumpy, but that’s normal),
but I can see the exhaustion and the toll the past several months have taken on
him. We finally got to Skype today and I could actually see his face not just pixels. Skype and
instant message are beautiful things….when the internet works!!! I’m just
thankful it works sometime, even for 5 minutes, just to know he is okay. I know
we will both be happy when we don’t have to rely on Skype and Facebook via
Afghan internet for communication. Until then, I’m thankful for its crappiness
: )
